#editorial | Logs for 2019-06-04

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[00:18:40] <Bytram> this time for sure
[00:18:53] <Bytram> have a great night everyone!
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[08:16:34] <Bytram> http://go.theregister.com
[08:16:35] <upstart> ^ 03Northrop Grumman has nozzle nightmare, Soyuz brushes off lightning, and updates on Crew Dragon 'anomaly' probe ( https://www.theregister.co.uk )
[08:31:01] <Bytram> =submit https://www.sciencedaily.com
[08:31:02] <upstart> Submitting "A family of comets reopens the debate about the origin of Earth's water"...
[08:31:24] <upstart> ✓ Sub-ccess! "A Family of Comets Reopens the Debate About the Origin of Earth's Water" -> https://soylentnews.org
[08:38:20] <Bytram> =submit ( Journal entry at: https: //arxiv.org/abs/1511.09335v2 ) https://phys.org
[08:38:22] <upstart> Submitting "Researchers suggest a link between the solar cycle and the tidal effects of Venus, the Earth and Jupiter"...
[08:38:44] <upstart> ✓ Sub-ccess! "Researchers Suggest a Link Between the Solar Cycle and the Tidal Effects of Venus, the Earth and Jupiter" -> https://soylentnews.org
[08:49:45] <Bytram> well, slept 7 hours straight, got up and submitted some stories after 2nding some others, and now it's time to go back to bed.
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[18:34:46] <Bytram> pushed out a story, going back to bed. laters.
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[21:53:20] <Bytram> wherto? http://feedproxy.google.com
[21:53:21] <upstart> ^ 03Microsoft reportedly shuttering its mall kiosks across the US ( https://www.cnet.com )
[22:12:48] <chromas> Are malls still around? I thought they were all mismanaged to death
[22:13:09] <Bytram> they're just getting mauled
[22:13:20] <Bytram> oh, mean s-mall-er
[22:13:34] <chromas> I can't bear it
[22:13:56] <Bytram> have you ever seen a bear?
[22:15:17] <chromas> Yes. They looked just like big dogs, rolling around in the grass.
[22:15:23] <Bytram> My dad and a buddy once got one hunting; the pad on its paw was as big as my hand and the claws were a good 1-2 inches long; they split the meat and my dad had the skin mounted into a bear rug. We called it "Claude" (aka clawed)
[22:15:24] <chromas> Also, as an American, we have bear arms
[22:15:49] <chromas> How was the meat?
[22:16:01] <Bytram> given the shoulder on that thing, you sure as heck did not want it taking a swipe at you.
[22:16:43] <Bytram> good enough, a bit ... greasy and gamey ... was so long ago and I was barely in my teens so it's hard to remember
[22:16:57] <chromas> Bytram: s/are/ear/
[22:17:12] <chromas> #smake exec
[22:17:12] * MrPlow smakes exec upside the head with an eight-inch floppy
[22:17:24] <Bytram> exec has gone napping again
[22:17:38] <chromas> I think it hasn't come back since the event
[22:17:44] <Bytram> yep
[22:18:37] <Bytram> allergies are still kicking my butt... tried to take a nap but didn't really sleep. Should prolly make a bite to eat.
[22:18:40] <Bytram> biab
[22:18:43] <chromas> =yt mitchell webb event
[22:18:44] <upstart> https://youtube.com - Remain Indoors - That Mitchell &amp; Webb Look - BBC Two (2:15)
[23:18:41] <Bytram> =g who watches the watchers
[23:18:42] <upstart> https://en.wikipedia.org - Who Watches the Watchers - Wikipedia
[23:18:50] <Bytram> =g who watches the watchers custodes
[23:18:51] <upstart> https://en.wikipedia.org - Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - Wikipedia
[23:25:55] <chromas> Who touches the touchers?
[23:26:10] <Bytram> you scratch my back...
[23:26:28] <Bytram> scratchers all the way around
[23:26:44] <Bytram> oh, wait. even better...
[23:26:48] <Bytram> Touche'
[23:26:51] <Bytram> =)
[23:27:49] <Bytram> we need another 6 or so stories in the queue to make it until morning on the USA east coast
[23:28:03] <Bytram> I've got one sub that should be able to go up pretty easily
[23:28:32] <chromas> Looks like an ad though
[23:28:40] <Bytram> what does?
[23:28:52] <Bytram> oh, the spelling bee story?
[23:28:54] <chromas> SpellPundit
[23:29:11] <Bytram> did you read the entire sub? Maybe I elided too much?
[23:34:26] <chromas> yeah I guess it's alright. I hadn't read the end
[23:34:47] <Bytram> I'm open to suggestions for improvement.
[23:35:09] <Bytram> it's not that easy to capture the gist of a story without including all the verbiage.
[23:35:28] <chromas> That's why we need a bot to do it :)
[23:35:55] <Bytram> and we need a bot to write the bot to do *that*
[23:36:12] <Bytram> would that be an on-deck botter?
[23:36:37] <Bytram> okay, somehow got another story pushedout
[23:37:33] <chromas> We could just use the summary strings. Then they have to click through to read it
[23:38:17] <chromas> Also we should enable ads on the crimecops story
[23:38:24] <chromas> think of the revenues
[23:39:23] <chromas> Have a nexus just for stories guaranteed to get lots of comments and have it be the only one with ads. Could fund the entire site :D
[23:41:46] <Bytram> and you would have plenty of work to do because as soon as we start taking ads, I start taking a hike.
[23:43:22] <chromas> We could post all the aris and most of runaway's subs there
[23:46:11] <chromas> In the likely event I ever become the only staff left, I'd automate editing with a script powered by a systemd timer
[23:46:34] <chromas> See if anyone notices :)
[23:47:30] <chromas> Over time, the stories would become more and more incoherent, with ever increasing computer-generated gibberish summaries
[23:47:54] * Bytram shudders at the thought
[23:48:09] <chromas> in fact, I'd put ciri and tama in charge
[23:49:21] <chromas> <ciri> oh really, really hope your obvious mental deficiencies have also rendered you sterile, because of conspiracy theorists getting hysterical about the latest technologies.
[23:49:24] <chromas> See? Genius!
[23:51:02] * Bytram is almost done with another sub
[23:51:19] <Bytram> if you can elide it further, please do.
[23:52:20] <chromas> there
[23:52:28] <chromas> now everyone's working on the same story, according to the footer
[23:52:28] <Bytram> where?
[23:52:30] <Bytram> ;)
[23:53:01] <Bytram> might want to push that back another 10 minutes or so.
[23:53:05] <chromas> I remember doing a spelling bee once. I spelled "air" as "a-i-air"
[23:54:15] <Bytram> is that like: T I double-G er
[23:54:31] <Bytram> =yt the wonderful thing about tigger
[23:54:33] <upstart> https://youtube.com - The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers (Sing Along Songs) (1:24)
[23:55:00] <chromas> Yo yo, it's me, Double-G! [hip hop beats]
[23:55:17] * chromas chuckles at takyon's pun
[23:55:28] <Bytram> what pun?
[23:55:36] <chromas> https://soylentnews.org
[23:55:37] <upstart> ^ 03Study Identifies Dog Breeds Most Likely to Bite Children: SoylentNews Submission
[23:55:46] <Bytram> clicky
[23:57:16] <Bytram> sorry, I'm not seeing it.
[23:57:23] <chromas> at the bottom
[23:57:56] * chromas makes Bytram waste time searching instead of just pointing it out
[23:59:03] * chromas tries to come up with a dept. Maybe "kiddles and bits" or maybe a meme
[23:59:08] <Bytram> I'm done searching and sruggling to stay awake
[23:59:46] <Bytram> whereto? http://go.theregister.com
[23:59:47] <upstart> ^ 03HP boss: Intel shortages are steering our suited customers to buy AMD ( https://www.theregister.co.uk )